you see all and know all
or so they seem fond of saying.
you call us beloved.
which is all well and good from your side
but you can have no idea how hard it is to be loved.
[we know the bit inside us
which is beyond loving;
too awful to be named,
too hard to save,
even for you.]
we confess that we do not believe you can change us
we confess that we do not believe that we can start again
we confess that we do not know how to have faith.
so do what you can with that.
this was written with a specific community of people in mind, but i don’t think we can use it yet. they might resonate with it, but they haven’t yet discovered that this is a prayer of faith, not faithlessness.