it’s really not about me

quick things…

firstly, i’ve had a few emails about my state of mind, after putting up the solstice stuff. i do worry sometimes that people look for hidden meanings in what i put up here… poetry or reflections that go up here are very rarely a reflection on my current state of mind… i get asked often about the writing i put out publicly – mostly in the Age – and how I can bare my soul to the world. I’m actually not baring my soul. I only write about stuff that no longer has a hold on me. I write in the present tense, but i’m thinking it retrospectively. That’s both to protect what’s still vulnerable and because i’m an introvert… I have to have it sorted in my head before i can find words to put it out to the world, otherwise I’m spectacularly incoherent. [I’ve just finished writing a piece, and it took 6 drafts. The first five are absolute crap, inarticulate, unfinished sentences, contradictory statements, utter bullshit… and then suddenly it comes together in a final piece that expresses something i never imagined in those first five drafts. in this piece i contradicted my earlier thoughts entirely, and convinced myself of something else completely, quite possibly just because it sounds more poetic in the final form. i am fickle like that.] And when it’s sorted in my head, it’s sorted… I’ve moved on. if i re-read what’s been published, it feels like ancient history, some other person… i’m somewhere else already.

anyway, onto the second point… i still can’t leave comments on the blog. we’re working on it, but there seems no obvious cause, which makes fixing it hard. it makes me grumpy, but not for long. be assured, it’s not causing enough angst to result in black poetry about solstices.

1 Comments

  1. mike

    speaking of solsticii, we held a most excellent “bring on the sun” solstice event here. Theres a great feel to being in the middle of winter anticipating the light…

Comments are closed.