Finally, it has to be said that I don’t really like what I’ve prepared for tomorrow – and if you feel the same way I do, once you’ve read it, feel free to apply for the half time prison chaplains position we have going at the moment, so i don’t end up doing this again next year! Full service can be downloaded here: GoodFriday_MRC2014_final

What was it about Jesus
that was so confusing for governments
and for ordinary people?

Pilate couldn’t make sense of Jesus
and half the time we can’t either.

We want a God who comes in might and power to take all before him
and yet we get Jesus:
unmistakably human and vulnerable,
trouble-maker
peace-lover,
political subversive
always on the side of love, not power
human, even to the point of death.

We keep asking the question,
‘God, who are you?’
in the hope we’ll get a different answer.
And God just keeps coming back with this one.

We’re inviting the women to write some responses at each section of the service, which will be used for Holy Saturday with images of Pietas. One of the women, Tomy, is going to sing a song at the end of the service. The rest of the service goes like this:

Gathering

They call today Good Friday
but what could make this day good?

if you have ever believed that love inevitably leads to betrayal
this day says it doesn’t.
if you have ever believed that some people are unlovable, irredeemable
this day says they aren’t.
if you have ever believed that there is a limit to forgiveness
this day says there isn’t.
if you have ever believed you aren’t worth saving
this day says you are.
if you have ever believed that you don’t deserve freedom
this day says you do.
if you have ever believed that fear, anger, hate and despair will always win
this day says it won’t.
this day is good for you.

Welcome to worship

Hymn: O Sacred Head Sore Wounded
Introduction to the worship

1. Jesus before Pilate and Herod
Luke 23:1-12

It seems, even back then, that people wanted Jesus to do things
to satisfy their own desires:
to like the people they liked
to perform miracles on demand
to look after their own interests

But this is a story of how love doesn’t always do as we desire.

And this is a story of how God always takes the path of love.

Extinguish candle
Music: ‘By the rivers of Babylon’, Sinead O’Connor

What is the path of love you need to follow this easter?

2. Jesus is sentenced to death
Luke 23:13-25

It’s easy to condemn the crowd
for wanting Jesus dead,
to criticise their fickleness and stupidity

but if we’re honest
we put love on trial
all the time:

whenever we choose the easy way out
whenever we act selfishly or fearfully
whenever we take the path of least resistance
by denying what is good and holy
its right to live.

But even when our love fails, God’s love doesn’t.
And this is a story of how God always takes the path of love.

Extinguish candle

Where have you denied love the right to live?

3. The crucifixion of Jesus
Luke 23:26-43

Not much about this story makes sense.
Even though we know how it goes,
we still wish it would play out differently
that putting faith in God
might not lead to a cross.

we confess we wish that God were more judgmental towards those we find it hard to forgive
we confess we wish that love didn’t have this kind of cost
we confess we wish that God would simply step in and make everything better
we confess we wish that Jesus would stand up for himself and prove the truth about him.

And we confess that we excuse ourselves by saying ‘we’re only human’,
but this is the day Jesus shows us there is another way to be human.

This story tells us
that Jesus can only ever choose love
and that we are invited to also.

And this is the story of the path that God’s love takes.

Extinguish candle

What is the story you need to tell of God’s love?

4. The Death of Jesus
Luke 23:44-49

This is the moment when the darkness comes
there are no more words to say
because none can tell the story
of what has happened.

This is the moment when we have to acknowledge how hard faith is,
how difficult it is to live,
and how much it works against our instinct for self-preservation.

And this is the moment to celebrate the relentlessness of god
that follows love’s path
without failing or faltering
even when it leads to this end.

Music: ‘Outstretched Arms’, sung by Tomy

What is the story you need to tell of God’s love?

5. Jesus is buried
Luke 23:50-56

Sometimes we have to bury the dead
even when what has died is good
and lovely.

Sometimes we have to let hopes go
even when they are the very best we have known.

Sometimes we have to wrap them with the cloth of regrets and the blessing of our tears

we have to place them in a grave
and roll the stone across

If there is a hope you need to let go,
while the music plays,
come and take a piece of the white fabric
then place it onto the cross.

Music: ‘O God, where are you now?’

Extinguish candle

Hymn: When I survey the wondrous cross

Blessing:
Today is a day when all seems lost
When nothing about Jesus makes sense
unless we see it through the eyes of relentless, unlimited love.

Go with the courage to search out that love,
and to let it take you where it will.

And go in the uneasy and difficult peace of Good Friday

amen.

I know I keep saying that being in the prison is surreal, but, you know, it really is. Last night when i left the prison I went to meet a friend for a drink, and when he asked what i’d been doing on the weekend i listed the shopping, the garden, the other friend i’d had breakfast with… it took me five minutes to remember that i’d been in the prison, even though it had filled most of that day, and the one before; even though i’d driven straight to the bar from the prison. It’s that disconnected from everything else, that incongruous.

I was reminded this weekend, though, that when you’re in prison, it’s impossible to forget that you’re there. It’s not just the physical reminders [the razor wire, the incessant loud speaker announcements, the bloody musters]; it’s that every story comes back to being inside. Every relationship is defined by separation, loss, grief. Every conversation about the future is clouded with ‘what if’s’ and ‘perhaps’.

We sank into the easter story this weekend – i kept holding my breath, wondering whether we were pushing it all too far and expecting too much, but the women kept coming back for more, and participating above and beyond our expectations. Doing the three days was a great idea, although absolutely exhausting. The attendance was amazing, and the women just kept coming back for the whole weekend. Last year there were 6 at the good friday service – this year there were 45. For some reason this was the right moment to do what we were doing, and they come from nowhere to be there. and they hung around for hours afterwards… we couldn’t get rid of them.

We offered each service in mainstream and then again in one of the protection units [the protection units house those who would be in danger in mainstream]. In protection we had the same four women come to worship all weekend. It was very intimate, and quite terrifying in a sense – i was so aware of the responsibility behind what we were doing. I kept thinking yesterday, as we were talking about Jesus’ presence in hell, ‘i hope we’re right… i hope we’re right…’. What we’re offering is so dangerous if we’re not.

You can always tell when worship has ‘worked’ – it becomes more than what you took into it, more than the sum of its parts. I know that what we prepared was good, but it means absolutely nothing if it doesn’t go beyond that. Each day, though, the worship became a thin space, very raw, really quite beautiful.

The three handouts from the weekend are here:
dpfc_gdfriday
holysaturday1
[i added in the artist credits, where i had them, to put up here – that’s changed the formatting slightly, but you’ll get the idea]
eastersunday1
[I wasn’t able to get permission to put Sunday’s image up here, so i stripped it from the pdf -but trust me, it was gorgeous…!]

Thanks so much to the artists whose images we used, especially on saturday – Fr Michael O’Brien, Jan Richardson and Jonny Baker. It’s the first time we’ve relied on images to tell much of the story, and it worked, largely due to the quality of the images themselves. For the vigil we had a number of images printed up largescale and laid on the floor on pieces of black card and the different reflections… the women wrote their prayers onto the card. My favourite: ‘Dear God, we are all in this together. Amen.’… One of the women asked to keep the large copy of Jonny’s photo – she said she wanted it as a reminder that razorwire could be beautiful.

You never forget you’re in prison. As I mentioned in a previous post, we invited women to sign letters to the Nepalese Government and to Australia’s Deputy Prime Minister as part of the Amnesty Stop Violence Against Women campaign. There were a few letters left unsigned at the end. One of the women who’s in for fraud amongst other things, gathered them up in a pile and brought them over to me. ‘I could sign the rest with made up names if you’d like’, she said…

I
I saw a slowly-stepping train —
Lined on the brows, scoop-eyed and bent and hoar —
Following in files across a twilit plain
A strange and mystic form the foremost bore.

II
And by contagious throbs of thought
Or latent knowledge that within me lay
And had already stirred me, I was wrought
To consciousness of sorrow even as they.

III
The fore-borne shape, to my blurred eyes,
At first seemed man-like, and anon to change
To an amorphous cloud of marvellous size,
At times endowed with wings of glorious range.

IV
And this phantasmal variousness
Ever possessed it as they drew along:
Yet throughout all it symboled none the less
Potency vast and loving-kindness strong.

V
Almost before I knew I bent
Towards the moving columns without a word;
They, growing in bulk and numbers as they went,
Struck out sick thoughts that could be overheard: —

VI
‘O man-projected Figure, of late
Imaged as we, thy knell who shall survive?
Whence came it we were tempted to create
One whom we can no longer keep alive?

VII
‘Framing him jealous, fierce, at first,
We gave him justice as the ages rolled,
Will to bless those by circumstance accurst,
And longsuffering, and mercies manifold.

VIII
‘And, tricked by our own early dream
And need of solace, we grew self-deceived,
Our making soon our maker did we deem,
And what we had imagined we believed,

IX
‘Till, in Time’s stayless stealthy swing,
Uncompromising rude reality
Mangled the Monarch of our fashioning,
Who quavered, sank; and now has ceased to be.

X
‘So, toward our myth’s oblivion,
Darkling, and languid-lipped, we creep and grope
Sadlier than those who wept in Babylon,
Whose Zion was a still abiding hope.

XI
‘How sweet it was in years far hied
To start the wheels of day with trustful prayer,
To lie down liegely at the eventide
And feel a blest assurance he was there!

XII
‘And who or what shall fill his place?
Whither will wanderers turn distracted eyes
For some fixed star to stimulate their pace
Towards the goal of their enterprise?’…

XIII
Some in the background then I saw,
Sweet women, youths, men, all incredulous,
Who chimed as one: ‘This is figure is of straw,
This requiem mockery! Still he lives to us!’

XIV
I could not prop their faith: and yet
Many I had known: with all I sympathized;
And though struck speechless, I did not forget
That what was mourned for, I, too, once had prized.

XV
Still, how to bear such loss I deemed
The insistent question for each animate mind,
And gazing, to my growing sight there seemed
A pale yet positive gleam low down behind,

XVI
Whereof, to lift the general night,
A certain few who stood aloof had said,
‘See you upon the horizon that small light —
Swelling somewhat?’ Each mourner shook his head.

XVII
And they composed a crowd of whom
Some were right good, and many nigh the best….
Thus dazed and puzzled ‘twixt the gleam and gloom
Mechanically I followed with the rest.

Reading 1
Mark 15:1-5

Reflection:
You taught us to stand for truth, Jesus
which would see though our arrogance,
and give courage in our uncertainty;
which could break down our defences
and uncover the world’s fear;
which would challenge our judgements
and lay bare our shame.

It isn’t just you who is facing this trial, Jesus.
With you is the truth we need to live.

[extinguish candle]

and we wait here at the foot of the cross…

[silence]

Reading 2
Mark 15:6-15

Reflection:
You taught us to believe in a love, Jesus
that would enter into the pain of the world
with a gift of compassion;
that would break the powers of evil
and transform them with light;
which would know the grief that holds us barren
and could shape it into life

It isn’t just you who will be nailed to the cross, Jesus
With you is the love we believed in.

[extinguish candle]

and we wait here at the foot of the cross…

[silence]

Reading 3
Mark 15:16-20

Reflection
You taught us to live in grace, Jesus –
to trust we are found
when we think we are lost;
to not be held captive
or entangled by judgement;
to hold fast to a promise
that this world will be made new.

It isn’t just you who will be hanging on the cross, Jesus,
With you will be the grace we need to live

[extinguish candle]
and we wait here at the foot of the cross…

[silence]

Reading 4
Mark 15:21-24

Reflection

You taught us to trust in hope, Jesus –
to live as though the world will, one day,
treat the weak with compassion,
offer freedom to the prisoner,
bring comfort to the afflicted
and give peace to the mourning

It isn’t just you who has been beaten by the world, Jesus
with you is the hope we need to live.

[extinguish candle]
and we wait here at the foot of the cross…

[silence]

Reading 5
Mark 15:25-32

Reflection

You taught us to walk by faith, Jesus
to believe the impossible could happen
in every moment and every place
to live as though it would
right here and now

It isn’t just you who hangs here dying on the cross, Jesus
with you hangs the faith we need to live.

[extinguish candle]
and we wait here at the foot of the cross.

Reading 6
Mark 15:33-40

Reflection

You taught us to be people of justice, Jesus
and confront evil that would stifle love
and systems that oppress;
to speak honesty into power
and truth for those betrayed

It isn’t just you who hangs here helpless, Jesus
with you is the justice we need to live.

[extinguish candle]
and we wait here at the foot of the cross…

Reading 7
Mark 15:42-47

Reflection
So we wait here
in the shadow
of all that we once knew;
amid the wreckage of a life
that used to make sense;
holding onto a faith that now lies empty

it isn’t just you who has died on the cross, Jesus
but all we are sure of
and all we learnt to trust.

[extinguish candle]
we wait here at the door of your tomb
wondering how we are to keep faith in you…

Either Jesus was mistaken, or God really did leave the building…

Alternative meanings for ‘forsake’, from the dictionary:

renounce
abandon
relinquish
dispense with
disclaim
disown
disavow
discard
wash one’s hands of
give up
drop
jettison
do away with.

My God, my God, why have you disowned me…

i think most of the stuff around this passage is to do with the feeling of being abandoned, or with justifying the god who was uncovered through the staying, or with the angle of the fulfilment of the prophecy, etc.

the idea of god giving up on the idea of jesus is pretty powerful stuff…

So you, Jesus,
– hanging,
broken –
are the only god we are left with,

and you are about to die.

we pray for the faith to wait at the foot of your cross
so you will not die unwitnessed

we pray for the faith to hold vigil for your life
so all you lived for
will not be in vain

and we pray for the faith to not go searching
for a god less human,
yet absently divine.

[the recorded music includes Johnny Cash’s “Hurt”, and Sufjan Stevens “O God, where are you now”, with Gorecki’s symphony no. 3 being played at the beginning and end]

Reflection 1:

What makes this day good?

If you have ever believed that love inevitably leads to betrayal
this day says it doesn’t.
If you have ever believed that some people are unloveable, irredeemable
this day says they aren’t.
If you have ever believed that there is a limit to forgiveness
this day says there isn’t.
If you have ever believed you aren’t worth saving
this day says you are.
If you have ever believed that you don’t deserve freedom
this day says you do.
If you have ever believed that fear, anger, hate and despair will always win
this day says they won’t.
And this day is good for you.

Reflection 2: [after reading John 19:1-16a]

I wonder, Jesus, what it took for you not to back down.
You could have changed your mind at any time, answered the questions differently. Pilate wanted you to go free. The judge was on your side. Were you mad?

But it seems you knew that to deny who you were in front of Pilate would mean turning your back on all those who discovered freedom and wholeness through the way you had lived your life.

It would destroy all the love they had encountered.

So you knew you had no choice.

We confess now that we choose differently…

For every time we have chosen not to love
forgive us

For every time we have chosen not to do what is just
forgive us

For every time we have betrayed another because it would be dangerous not to
forgive us

For every time we have turned our back on what is right
forgive us

For every time we have not trusted the completeness of your love
forgive us

Turn us around so that we face the cross alongside you –
choosing only love
in the face of every option.

Reflection 3: [after reading John 19:16b – 30]

Whenever injustice wins
you are crucified again
Whenever the truth is betrayed
you are crucified again
Whenever fear overwhelms hope
you are crucified again
Whenever peace is overturned by hate
you are crucified again
Whenever love is not our choice
you are crucified again

Reflection 4: [after reading John 19:31-37]

The story continues. Jesus was wrapped in burial clothes and laid in a tomb. The creeds tell us he descended into hell.

One of the hardest parts of our faith is to believe that Jesus descends into the hell of our lives.

If you would like, write the story of your hell onto the fabric [card]. No-one else will be able to read it, but know that Jesus is your company in it.

[Play: Sufjan Stevens, ‘O God Where Are you Now?’ as this happens]

Sending out

We leave here in the darkness.
people tell us rumours of light,
of resurrection,
of a new day
but it seems too hard to believe them:

they cannot know the death and hell we know.

we wonder what can be resurrected from this.

We leave here waiting, confident only in the company of Jesus, in our lives, our fear, our hell and our hope.

Go in the uneasy peace of this Good Friday.
Amen.

They’re an Easter Saturday moment for chaplains to hand out in prisons. thanks to mike and claire for design… and to Sammy Stamp for the funds to get them done.

[another update: if you wanted to get some of these postcards printed, email and I’ll send you the high resolution, print ready pdf]

Easter is firing on all cylinders at the moment [luckily it’s got a momentum of its own because i’m not!]. I’ve just been reading our church newspaper – Crosslight – and i’m a little bemused as to how the Easter Saturday event didn’t make it into the church newspaper when even the secular media are interviewing me about it… That’s been one of the interesting things that’s unfolded in the life of this project. The secular media have been interested from the beginning and keep approaching me for interviews and to write articles, etc. I’m off the radar in the church media.

If the church is the centre of gravity, this project is failing badly. I think it’s because i’m tired that that’s annoying me.

[update: i think i should clarify that i wasn’t distressed when i wrote this, just grumpy!]

you didn’t choose to die
and you couldn’t have chosen not to.

you had no choice as you stood answering Pilate’s questions
[you who defines love
and is defined by love];
because to have a choice would mean
that you could suddenly decide at the end
to deny who you were
and so to betray those who had found their life
in the light [and in the shadow]
of your love.

you didn’t have it in you
to do anything else
but walk to the cross.
and you still don’t have it in you
to make any choice but love.

and if love is always, absolutely, the path you will take,
why do we think there is something we could do
some thought we could have
some place we could go

that would change your mind?