thanks for letting me stay…

i have changed where home is
i have become a guest in the place of your faith

no more trying to make myself fit
contorting, awkwardly

i have changed where my home is.

The Culture and Context Unit, within which i work, celebrated its first birthday last week. It’s been a fun ride so far…

I’ve been spending today writing up some medium to long term strategies to match the Synod’s priorities. One of the Synod’s priorities is risk-taking, and as part of the planning process we need to show a link between our units work and that priority. It’s a fabulous aim, but i’ve found myself having to rationalise why some of the things we do are risks. Staying as part of the church, for instance, when most people would assume the risk is in going out into the world.

One of the principles that formed the unit was the idea of being a guest at the world’s table. I suspect that one of the reasons why this team gravitated together at the beginning was because that was our natural instinct anyway. We like being out there. We know ourselves in the world. And increasingly, for many of us, the church is almost a parallel universe, operating in a different orbit. This is where we feel alien, not there.

I don’t know where home is, but i don’t mind not having one. And in letting go of the need to make the church my home i’ve found unexpected appreciation for it. Not wishing the church different has meant I’ve started to recognise its worth. I’ve given up the fight, relinquished my right, and found its goodness. It means that while this is not my home, and i doubt it ever will be again, i love that it’s yours, and i love that you let me stay when i need somewhere to crash for a while…

so thanks. that’s all.


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