the cross of abandoned gods

just when i think i have you nailed
to the cross of abandoned gods,
you return with power and might
to haunt me again.

what if i had it right the first time?

and against all will and better judgment
the fragile hope, still new and raw,
is pushed aside by fear,
and love loses its place
to a stubborn guilt.

and i wonder, as i stand by defenceless,
why the gods i don’t believe in
are the only ones
i can have faith in.

[for J]