the hopeless truth

I wrote this for our Fringe Festival show, The truth and other tiny stories, but we’re not going to use it.

I always wanted to believe in God.
so i did what you’re meant to do:

sang the hymns
prayed the prayers

wished for a little more proof
while pretending a whole stack of certainty.

I even convinced myself
for quite a while.

I don’t remember when it stopped working
but it must have
because somehow now
that life of faith seems like the lover
whose long ago presence
bewilders me…

But i grieve now
in the space that faith would fill
wishing i could trust the things that
would make this world
and our lives

But i want to say this is faith too
for those who can’t believe:
the grief
the longing
the fear

all wrapped with the hopeless truth
that we simply don’t have what it takes.


  1. This is stunning! If you are ok I will use it on my site, with a full link back to yours.

    If some of my friends could have seen stuff like this back in the day, they would maybe have realised that where they were was ok and not ‘outside’.

    Thank you.

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