when you were waiting…

[for a space in Benalla in a couple of weeks… we’re going to explore waiting through the characters in the advent story… this will need work if we’re going to use it – i like the idea more than the execution]

what was it like for you, god,
when you were waiting for your child to be born?

did you like awake at night
overawed by the miracle of life,
overwhelmed by what was to come?

did you wonder if you were up to the task –
if you’d know what to do
when he ran away
when he was cheeky or outright rude
when he defied authority

or did you think no child of yours would ever dare behave that way?

did you practice conversations, plan the wisdom you would share?
did you wonder if you’d let him think differently to you?
did you pray for the strength to let him teach you too?

did you despair at the pain your child would be born into
and grieve the limits of your protection?

did the world become infinitely more precious
and overwhelmingly fearsome
all at once?

did you worry you might not love him?
did you wonder how you would be able to ever let him go?

did it change you, god, this waiting?
how are you different because of this birth?